In the movie The Pickup Artist, Molly Ringwald's character utters my all-time favorite movie line:
When you are four, people laugh uncomfortably and don't explain to you why they are laughing. Being four, you stupidly think you are a talented comedian and then you spend your twenties and thirties baffled as to why everyone routinely gives you the death glare and wants your head on a pike instead of appreciating your witty insight and sense of humor.
Me being me, I didn't stop being honest. I just tried to find ways to express myself that were less likely to have people wanting my head on a pike.
This is a large part of why I blog. I still find social stuff very interesting, I see a need in the world for high-quality social analysis and I am aware it is genuinely problematic for people when I blurt out some uncomfortable truth about them that they thought they were successfully hiding.
But I continue to run into some of the same stumbling blocks that I have always had.
For various reasons, most people see what I do as moralizing rather than analyzing, and also -- in direct conflict with what they are projecting onto me -- some people feel I am obligated to make them feel wonderful about their life and every single thing they have ever done.
Such people tend to end up hating me -- and I eventually end up hating them back when they just will not quit their garbage. (If this is you: Please get therapy.)
These issues are compounded by the fact that social stuff is complicated, religion is the traditional means by which people try to pass on social best practices when they can't really explain them adequately and most parents raise their children with either a shame model or a guilt model.
I raised my children with a model of enlightened self interest. I have two special-needs kids and I did not do what a lot of parents do with such children: I did not break them and insist they "be nice" to other people or go along to get along.
Both of my sons have social challenges but are very bright. Raising them required me to up my game in terms of properly analyzing social stuff and adequately explaining it, because otherwise I would say things like "Anger is kind of like fire" and get "So if you rub two people together, they explode?" and then I would have to go "Um, no. Let me think about this and get back to you. FORGET WHAT I JUST SAID."
A lot of my work has a social component. It is thus shaped by my experiences with being a mother explaining social things to two young people who needed a certain level of accuracy to make sense of it at all.
Some people seem to think I wish to be The Mother of The Future and see myself as creating a whole new world. (Cue music from Aladdin).
AH HA HA HA HA, no. My ego is not that big. Even if it were, I'm sure it would go like this:
If you wish to support my blog writing generally, I have a Patreon account. For one time tips or payment for freelance work, there's Venmo (@Doreen-Traylor) and
PayPal.
I currently do Resume Review or write website copy at $75/page. I am also in the process of developing a list of services, such as website work, for my community development work at Eclogiselle.
I'm too truthful to be good.I have apparently always been socially insightful. I was probably the bratty child yelling "The emperor has no clothes" and getting away with being rude, crude and socially unacceptable because I was cute as a button.
When you are four, people laugh uncomfortably and don't explain to you why they are laughing. Being four, you stupidly think you are a talented comedian and then you spend your twenties and thirties baffled as to why everyone routinely gives you the death glare and wants your head on a pike instead of appreciating your witty insight and sense of humor.
Me being me, I didn't stop being honest. I just tried to find ways to express myself that were less likely to have people wanting my head on a pike.
This is a large part of why I blog. I still find social stuff very interesting, I see a need in the world for high-quality social analysis and I am aware it is genuinely problematic for people when I blurt out some uncomfortable truth about them that they thought they were successfully hiding.
But I continue to run into some of the same stumbling blocks that I have always had.
For various reasons, most people see what I do as moralizing rather than analyzing, and also -- in direct conflict with what they are projecting onto me -- some people feel I am obligated to make them feel wonderful about their life and every single thing they have ever done.
Such people tend to end up hating me -- and I eventually end up hating them back when they just will not quit their garbage. (If this is you: Please get therapy.)
These issues are compounded by the fact that social stuff is complicated, religion is the traditional means by which people try to pass on social best practices when they can't really explain them adequately and most parents raise their children with either a shame model or a guilt model.
I raised my children with a model of enlightened self interest. I have two special-needs kids and I did not do what a lot of parents do with such children: I did not break them and insist they "be nice" to other people or go along to get along.
Both of my sons have social challenges but are very bright. Raising them required me to up my game in terms of properly analyzing social stuff and adequately explaining it, because otherwise I would say things like "Anger is kind of like fire" and get "So if you rub two people together, they explode?" and then I would have to go "Um, no. Let me think about this and get back to you. FORGET WHAT I JUST SAID."
A lot of my work has a social component. It is thus shaped by my experiences with being a mother explaining social things to two young people who needed a certain level of accuracy to make sense of it at all.
Some people seem to think I wish to be The Mother of The Future and see myself as creating a whole new world. (Cue music from Aladdin).
AH HA HA HA HA, no. My ego is not that big. Even if it were, I'm sure it would go like this:
I currently do Resume Review or write website copy at $75/page. I am also in the process of developing a list of services, such as website work, for my community development work at Eclogiselle.