My health site is "on hiatus" due to the way I have been treated over it. In practical terms, that means it will probably never be updated again because there is an extremely long history of people being abusive to me about that, so I don't believe that will ever change.
I've been thrown off of multiple forums apparently for the crime of trying to deal with my medical situation instead of politely dying on schedule so doctors and scientists can feel smart. A former homemaker making highly educated, well paid men feel stupid clearly deserves a fate worse than death.
I spent some years trying to write about community development because I wanted to be an urban planner but my health and -- critically -- lack of a driver's license in recent years means I'm effectively not employable in my Dream Career (TM).
I've had a lot of different blogs over the years trying to find my voice and speak my mind and I seem incapable of not blogging. It's the least worst answer I've found for not losing my marbles and not going down in flames continuously in various online forums until they finally throw me out or make me decide I've had enough of their shit and don't want to be there anymore.
I have had multiple blogs with various community development related themes and some evidence that probably some people were interested, such as the ridiculous amount of harassment I got on Reddit for running r/AberdeenWA which grew in a fashion that suggests to me someone local and influential was likely promoting it via word of mouth while simultaneously encouraging people to piss all over me and people were HAPPY to do that.
In recent months, I pulled together the best community development related writing and best design bits from several blogs and put it all on Eclogiselle.com. I thought it looked good and I hoped it would go somewhere.
But my income from Patreon has steadily shrunk while I worked on such things in recent years and it's now down to a mere $35/month and it's been ages since I got any tips. My Patreon has no real engagement, no one promotes any of my writing and no one discusses any of my work with me.
Either it's a complete waste of time or if you want to imagine I'm doing something groundbreaking that is secretly making incredible good things happen, then I'm an abused slave.
Even if you assume -- which I do not -- that I am literally saving the planet from global warming and this planet will die if I don't continue to lovingly provide solutions out of the goodness of my heart for FREE, this isn't work I care to continue.
I'm medically handicapped and I have spent a lot of years trying to figure out how to support myself as a blogger because blogging is something I'm capable of doing in spite of my medical situation.
Over the years, I've had countless people "befriend" me, get their personal problems resolved for FREE with better advice than a therapist could give them and then dump me when they no longer need me.
For some years, people I knew via the tagfam.org email lists REFERRED people to me who had extremely difficult children that all the paid experts were failing. We would exchange emails for a bit, their kids would magically get better, they would say THANKS!!!! (Stupid bitch doing this shit for free!!!!!!) And I would never hear from them again.
It never made me a single dime and it didn't result in my blogs developing or anyone promoting my writing or anything that had any hope of leading to a career and adequate income.
I have no idea how I can escape this amazingly shitty shitty shitty pattern that for reasons I cannot comprehend, OTHER people believe I am supposed to CARE about THEM for FREE while they get better services than the paid services they can find and no one CARES about my welfare and lack of adequate income.
IF I am literally saving the planet and it will go to hell without my loving tender care:
1. Too bad so fucking sad because I have zero evidence anything I do makes any god-damned difference and it's certainly not paying MY bills.
2. I'm not interested in being the architect of a wonderful happy shiny world where life is fabulous for EVERYONE ELSE while I get nothing and live in poverty and am actively harassed while people steal my ideas as I know for a fact was done to me in Aberdeen, Washington.
Writing has literally been My Occupation for some years. It's been a means to occupy myself while convalescing and getting better while planet Earth calls me crazy to my face and tells me "People like you don't get well! So you are MAKING that UP you rude crude socially unacceptable BITCH with NO MANNERS! How DARE you speak of your medical situation on the Internet!!!!! You DESERVE all the abuse us well mannered right thinkers can heap on you!!!"
I don't know what comes next for me. But Eclogiselle is joining my health site in being "on hiatus" aka probably DEAD for all eternity while I wish I had never written any of it.
The title comes from the ending of T2. I'm never going to be normal but perhaps someday soon I will be well enough to get a waitressing job or something like that and bitch about my sucktastic normal life.
If it goes that way, I imagine I will be excited as hell to do that just like paying rent every month after nearly six years of homelessness was the most exciting, fun thing I did every month for at least a year after I got back into housing.